if u are about to get stabbed just say “I have too much swagger for the dagger” and they will leave u alone
when someone shows you the receipts of your fav being problematic
when you do something wrong but you were only trying to help
most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person
there’s a tool for that
I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?